These mustered four walls are driving me insane. The heat is increasing. The fan blows a breeze but the temperature stays the same. I’m alone again. Nothing new. They say loneliness can kill you. Isn’t that the truth.
The television fights to find some channels. Static takes over engulfing the TV making the frame it’s new plastic home. Nothing is coming in. Angel to angel. My anger increases and I feel alone again.
The cats are sleeping on the olive green ottoman. Peacefully dreaming with their breathing at ease. One small movement I awake them. Elliot shoots a look of disappointment, I believe. Sadness fills my heart and I can’t shake this feeling. I feel alone again.
Everything and everyone at this very moment makes it seem like the smallest things are much more important than me. Even the cats want nothing to do with me. They’d rather sleep and dream than lay next to me. Conversations are left unsaid and I’m not hearing anything back. I feel so alone again.
“Fend for yourself” they said. Living pay check to pay check is much harder in the end. I wish I could fast forward through all of this instead. I much rather not want to feel alone again.
These mustered walls are driving me insane. Tears drop and anger runs through my veins. I’m sick of this feeling. “Occupy yourself instead. The feeling of anger will disappear in the end.” he said. So, I write filled with red. “Maybe I do this to myself?” I said. Who knows? Ill most likely sleep this off and head to bed. Wake up start over this feeling doesn’t end.
I feel like everyone and everything at this very moment is making it seem like the smallest things are much more important than me. If only they could see, being alone is so lonely.